Back into the working week with a bump - thankfully not too literally - and a
struggle to keep my eyes open... No idea why, because I managed about eight
hours sleep last night, and it wasn't too hectic a day beforehand, but I get
used to this I suppose. Roll on that warmer, brighter, weather though.
Yesterday was good. No, that's an understatement. Yesterday was very good.
Hmm, was that better? Well, you get the idea anyway - and after a bit of a
forgettable week, it certainly made all the difference, and I feel clearer in
my mind about where Zoe and I are going than ever before, I'm pretty sure.
More on that in a moment, though.
Sunday morning was typical enough, with a surprisingly engaging talk by Phil on
why we're Christians, ultimately, and how cool tigers are. Clearly Phil's been
brushing up on presentation skills, because it's quite rare for me to remember
what people have talked about, yet the tigers somehow serve as a good
memory-jogger. The evening meeting was also good - even with the mild
inconvenience of having to do OHP, something I officially "don't do at the
moment" - with one of Andy's typically rambling but inspiring talks - on
deliverance, I seem to recall, though with no tigers I can't exactly
After the morning meeting we lunched at Wetherspoons, having found Chiquitos to
be closed for refurbishment of some kind, enjoying chilli-con-carne in various
guises and very indulgent chocolate sponge - or at least those of us not too
actively dieting. Too indulgent by half, feeling morally obliged to go and
justify at least the accompanying cream with a brisk walk round Caldecotte
Lake, followed by a slightly less virtuous trip to the video shop to borrow
"Virus". A very silly film, but it passed the time I guess, and I'll have to
remember to take it back this evening given that we forgot last night.
Supper was at KFC as is traditional, though going to Westcroft instead of
Stacey Bushes for a change due to Zoe's need to visit a cash machine - and mine
too, as it turned out, having lent someone a fiver and ending up a little short
of cash myself. Twister meals all round, for a change - with a Zingers having
been flavour of the moment for a while - and a good natter about all kinds of
stuff, from Neighbours - thanks to Natalie Imbruglia on the radio - to ... ummm
... EastEnders. Hmm, maybe not "all kinds of stuff" after all.
So yes, as I said, I feel a lot clearer about my relationship with Zoe now than
of late, and thankfully, all thoughts are now of a positive nature. Yes, I am
feeling the physical distance between Milton Keynes and Iver Heath more than
ever before, but I am taking that as a Good Sign as much as I possibly can.
OK, so it's only an hour on the road, but it's an hour that makes midweek
meet-ups more or less impossible - certainly on any routine basis - and I would
have to admit I do get a little envious of Phil and Angela apparently being
able to be together virtually every waking moment when they're not busy
The fact that any doubts that might build up during our week apart get happily
shattered come the weekend would seem to confirm all this. If I can overcome
that mid-week doubt, then I'm sure I can feel altogether a lot more positive
about it, seven days a week, rather than just a couple - resulting in quite an
emotional rollercoaster ride.
I'm still holding out for a miracle that might make it practical for Zoe to
move up here - as she's said many a time she would, given half a chance.
Otherwise, there's still well over a year before anything like that would be a
realistic possibility, and a lot can happen in that time - one way or the
other... That's not to say I couldn't cope with that, but it would be
difficult - though I guess if we survived that long it would be a good sign? I
guess I'm coming across as Mr Impatient again, but I am susceptible to quite
major confusion, temptations and so on, and whilst absence makes the heart grow
fonder to some extent, it also leaves it open to unwelcome attack from various
But anyway, I think that'll do for now, I've probably shared too much as it is,
although as often is the case it seems better to share it than to bottle it up.
Besides, it's lunch time.